be my side

Thursday, 17 February 2011

god..
you will never know how much
i need you to be my side
i wish you heard this

the first time i fallin in love
when he said break,
no ones can get how pain am i.
my mind filled up with him

i don't want to break
but
he was determined to break up

the actual reason cause we broke is

trust

seriously,i don't confident that i have him
it is very hurt when your lover no trust you
it's my fault i know..
i begged him not to break
obviously,he rejected me.

we became best friends,
but i tryin to get him back 
he said wants to lead single life
i wanted text him "as you wish"
i should do it.cause i treated every guy like that 
but..i cant click sent
cause
i love him.i don't even want to lose him.

the first time i feeling like i lost everything
i have no mood to enjoy at all
i pretend nothing in front of my friends
finally,i can't endure anymore..
my tears come out by it self

i was tryin convince myself that
without him 
my life is still go on
i wanted to study as well
but when i open books,
it just like open the memories between me and him in my mind
obviously,i started skip my homework
everyday just sit at there thinking thinking and thinking

We broke the day before valentine
great !
i decided to buy a present to him and fold hearts paper to him
to show him my love and everything

Wednesday,me and jiawen went to bowling
we just play a game 
she accompany me to choose the present
i bought a bear with wrote "just for you"
i was searching for the box that i iliked
unfortunately,it doesn't have it 
i just choose the box full with loves

i went to popular buy red A4 paper
to folded hearts to him
and decided fold 99 
i really hope he can feel it..

the first time i did this things

back to school,i asked nina to help me out
write a letter to him
she helps me a  lot!
she wrote the letter just like poem
and touched me
thank you thank you so much Nina
i asked some friends that they are well in english
and they said nice,some say touched

i done everything for that present
i have no mood to study
and exam is just in next wed
i am crazy 
 
saturday coming,i going give it to him
but at the same time..
i afraid he will reject it
i can never accept the fact..
he 's so enjoy his single life,
will he going to turn him back to couple?..
he said he is sick of couple
what should i do..
i have no idea
i lost my mind when i saw he said enjoy being single..
i lost all at the same time
i lost my confident 
there is nothing to make him accept me back..

im'sorry..
i just hope we'll back to last time
i swear it not going happen it again
i knew my fault
just i don't have change to make up everything  
anymore..

so..
god
please
bless me will be successful
i would do anything
as long as he's back to me

4 comments:

AnnTan said...

dy,
i don't like to say this
bt as a fwen i had to say this
sometimes, we can't hope for something too much..and when the thing fail, we will be dissappointed even more..
you must always remember
when you grow older and look back at all those things,
you will think
"why am i doing this?is it worth it?"
like my sister's experience,
the boy said want to break because she very control over him...
they had been walking 2gether for one year plus...
and she wanted to go back to his side! she want him badly..
but when a guy keep saying he want to break..
he doesn't have a heart for you
and we watch my sister cried like hell..saying want to suicide and everything..
the only thing to keep her happy
is to occupy herself with things
no matter how unhappy,
you must do something to let your mind think other stuff..
when time goes on,
it will just feel like a familiar cut in the heart...
as for me..
i always had that cut each time i look at that jerk..
but everyday i look..
that cut just hurt like a habbit ady..
it may not subside..
but i manage to live on..
move on..
smile on...

is all up to you
( :
i understand what you're going through..
and trust me,...
it's very very very hard..

xx
Ann

♥S4ndy♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
♥S4ndy♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
♥S4ndy♥ said...

thanks ann,i think it over&over
yeah,it's time to let him go away
i can't control my heart pain
when my mind pop up his face
but i have to face the fact
you're right
when they askin to break,keep on saying
there is no way to hold back
and they don't have the heart already
once,i ever think
even he sympathy at me and hold back
as long as we're couple
but now..
i really stupid with that thinking

he's not mine
he can walk out my life with his leg
and i'll kick his ass to out of my mind

there is useless if i keep on crying everyday thinking for nothing
it's make my life meaningless
i should wake up
it's time to face the fact
study is the way right now

i will leave everything about him
inside the present
give it him,there's no more things about him

i live it proudly,happily
same as before
no more love problems
i think it will be great!
hahaha
and..
i will make him regret that he dumped me


it's hard ..
but i will do it!
i believe i can do it!
there's nothing impossible

thank you thank you thank you alot
ann..

heehee,love ya!
mwahx